Some things change, some stay the same

One or two gray hairs have started to put in the occasional appearance. Just one or two, but I anticipate more in the next couple years.

I can no longer physically fling myself out of bed and across the room at the sound of the alarm.

My neck...

My eyes are drying up, and my morning routine, every morning, now begins with eyedrops.

I have lost all patience with pretending I'm dumber, weaker, or smaller than I know myself to be just to support someone else's ego, and have finally sworn off behaving civilly to anyone who suggests I should.

On the other hand: I still sing to myself without realizing it, and engage in spontaneous dance breaks. I still ride my bike down the steep hill without touching the brakes** and love the pull of the centripetal force when I bank into the left turn at the bottom.*** I still wave and smile at other people's kids in restaurants, because they (the kids) seem to like it. I still think Chrissy Hynde kicks ass. I am still plagued doubts and insecurities, and plenty of them. I'm still prone to fits of joy or despair all out of proportion to actual events. I'm just learning not to make excuses for these things, because I'm starting to think they don't actually need to be excused.

Welcome to my fortieth birthday.


**I have even been known to yell "whooo!" while doing this.

***odeargodpleaselettherenotbecrosstrafficican'tseepleasepleaseplease...