...and waves of book- and tenure-related anxiety had been washing over me for over an hour as I lay in bed, trying in vain to sleep. So I did the only (non-chemical) thing that I knew might help: I got up, turned on my computer, and worked.
It's now 1:35 a.m. I'm going to try bed again.
5 comments:
I've been there. I learned not to fight it, and just get up and work or I'll never get to sleep.
I hope you had a restful night the second time around.
hot milk! Try a mug of hot milk! with honey and nutmeg! Or a hot bath. Or both.
Dearest S -- when do you think I would have had the time to go to the grocery store to buy milk? Or honey?
(Sorry -- I'm tired, and this is the second day in a row that lunch has been microwave popcorn. The day before that, it was nothing.)
You don't have to be sorry--trust me, I know that feeling, not having time to get food from the store. One thing I will say, though: if you're not eating, you're not working at optimum strength, which means that you're probably better off investing a short time to run to the store (even for Hot Pockets or similar) than flogging yourself mercilessly through hunger and exhaustion.
When I don't eat enough and/or don't sleep enough, everything bad in my life magnifies to the point where I can barely get anywhere. I'm hoping you're not there, not yet.
Boy, have I been there -- a lot lately. I've discovered whole new reservoirs of anxiety over the past year, all centered around the book/tenure. I have finally had to admit that my blase attitude about academic success is just a brittle facade over a morass of fear.
That'll keep you up at night, for sure.
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