Thursday, December 13, 2012

Student paper mad libs!

Okay, well, not really.

Hi!

I'm not dead, but I've just not been inspired to write much lately. Which, you know, happens.

But here I am, proctoring the last exam of the semester. And while I do so, I'm grading the very last undergraduate paper of the semester.  And right there, at the top, are these immortal and undying words:

"Since the beginning of time..."

It's nice to see someone go for the classics, yes?  This one happens to be about religion and science, so it's medium-silly. But since we're all in silly season, I invite those six of you who haven't given up on my blog entirely to complete the sentence above, using something that might be appropriate to your field.  Extra points for scientists!


25 comments:

clio's disciple said...

Oh, I'm remember some of the ones I've actually gotten:
"Since the beginning of time water has been essential to humanity."

"Since the beginning of time, people have fallen in love."

squadratomagico said...

Since the beginning of time, Man has searched for meaning and called it "God."

Since the beginning of time, men have sought to spread their seed and women have looked for providers.

writingaccount said...

Since the beginning of time, Queen Elizabeth I was the greatest Queen that every lived.

Steph said...

My favorite ones are always anachronistic:

"Since the beginning of time, people have wondered about Utilitarianism."

"Since the beginning of time, people have thought about the meaning of justice in societies."

antikate said...

My favorite, though I can't recall how the student finished it, was the sentence that began, "Due to the history of the world..."

sophylou said...

(I'm making this one up since I've managed to erase any real examples of these from my memory)

Since the beginning of time, Webster's has defined "history" as occurring in the past.

Comrade Physioprof said...

Since the beginning of time, events have occurred.

Notorious Ph.D. said...

Comrade PhysioProf's comment reminds me of an actual opening sentence of a medieval source, Gregory of Tours' History of the Franks: "A great number of things keep happening: some of them good, others not."

delagar said...

My favorite student essay opening employing this phrase: "Since the beginning of time, mankind has worried about parking."

squadratomagico said...

Gregory of Tours is the bomb!

Anonymous said...

"Throughout history, America has been adjusting to constantly changing views in society."

Hard to argue with that, really.

Fie upon this quiet life! said...

Since the beginning of time, people have wondered whether Shakespeare wrote his novels.

(I can't tell you how many students think that Shakespeare wrote novels. Then again, they think everything is a novel. Including poems.)

Glad to see you're not dead. Hope your semester wraps up nicely. :)

Kate Sheppard said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
DrKate said...

"Since the beginning of time, man has wondered about his place in the cosmos."

Dr. Koshary said...

"Since the beginning of time, the internet has threatened television's market share."

Fretful Porpentine said...

"Since the beginning of time, men have been telling stories about dogs."

Curt Emanuel said...

Since the beginning of time farmers have wondered if denitrification inhibitors are worth the investment in time and capital or if they should instead switch to split Nitrogen application production systems to reduce non-point source pollution, despite the possible negative impacts this would have on the time they have available to engage in hunting and gathering.

Susan said...

Since the beginning of time student have written silly sentences in exams.
[OK, inadequate that up. Now I must get up to grade the final papers.]

Tigs said...

"Since the beginning of time, whether it be trading for gems a tribal village or selling high value stocks on Wall Street, human kind has been obsessed with obtaining and keeping power."

Sigh. This one got cocky after writing a really nice pair of essays for the midterm. Cliches and typos to open the final...

Again: sigh.

(Political Science checking in!)

metheist said...

I jokingly tell my students not to start their paper with "From the daawwwn of tiimme . . . soooo are the daayys of oouur liivves." They don't quite get the soap opera reference, but they love the voice I do it in :)

2or3 said...

Since the beginning of time, the internet has allowed us to communicate more easily with one another.

Anti Money Laundering said...

"Since the beginning of time people go crazy about love"


"Since the beginning of time man has been interested in the moon"

Miss Trudy said...

OMG! Students are still writing that at the beginning of their essays??? I once had a student start her essay with the sentence "Do you believe in destiny?" ... and of course, it all went downhill from there. Happy new year!

turtle907 said...

Since the beginning of time...man has believed that there is more than life and death.....

tenthmedieval said...

Comrade PhysioProf's comment reminds me of an actual opening sentence of a medieval source, Gregory of Tours' History of the Franks: "A great number of things keep happening: some of them good, others not."

I just recently started re-reading Gregory and came across that, and was then struck by a question it's too late to get answered now: did Robert Anton Wilson have it in mind when he wrote the opening of Illuminatus!?

The Earth quakes and the Heavens rattle; the beasts of nature flock together and the nations of men flock apart; volcanoes usher up heat while elsewhere water becomes ice and melts; and then on other days it just rains. Indeed do many things come to pass.

I mean, I assume he was a liberal arts major...

YES ANYWAY SORRY.