from my e-mail this morning:
"I would like to be the first to offer you a well deserved congratulations. You are scheduled to be published in the 2012 Edition of the Academic Registry. Your contact information was acquired by our research staff, who pour over academic journals, conference lists, and published papers in an effort to find the most accomplished academics nationwide."
What, precisely, are they pouring over those journals? And won't the libraries be upset?